Aside: Does Lara Really Need Bigger Tits?

Monday, January 26th, 2009 at 3:33 pm in Asides · Comments

Underworld performed badly sales-wise (and some of you may argue gameplay-wise, too). That, coupled with the economic downturn, has seen Crystal Dynamics cut 30 jobs. Shame, as I genuinely loved the latest Tomb Raider adventure. But being a long time Lara fan, I think I’m willing to overlook most niggles as my sentimental journey has such a hold over me. Regardless, poor sales and a waning interest in the franchise has prompted developers to, you guessed it, give Lara Croft another make-over.

If the developers think enhancing her bust or baring more skin is going to improve sales, they really need to stop and listen to the fans. For me personally, I think they should concentrate on prolonging typical Tomb Raider game-time, adding in longer levels and bigger puzzles - not necessarily making things more complex, just giving us a bit more to do and a few more levels to raid. I also want to see Lara doing what she does best; raiding tombs. None of this urban shite. Just good old fashioned tombs, caves and what-not. Tweaking the camera would help, too.

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4 Responses to “Aside: Does Lara Really Need Bigger Tits?”

Mike Robinson

# January 26th, 2009 at 7:43 pm

My theory on the increasing boob size is it is a long-term build-up to the next game. We’ve had Legend, we’ve had Underworld. Now it is time for Tomb Raider: Underwater Legend!

A game that is all about deep sea tombs Her boobs are pushed out due to increased lung size, and they are made bigger to act as a floatation device. You know it makes sense!

That, or she will have her very own volleyball game.

twe4ked

# January 27th, 2009 at 8:03 am

It sorta defies physics, but generally the bigger the better if I have to look at them for 20odd hours

:)

Rockers Delight

# January 27th, 2009 at 10:27 am

@Mike Robinson

Hah! That made me laugh out loud. I can definitely see a Lara Croft volleyball game with all the recurring characters in the latest games. Lara vs Natla.

@twe4ked

I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised a man would prefer the bigger bust to the lengthier game-time :p

Mike Robinson

# January 27th, 2009 at 8:00 pm

@Rockers Delight
They could also have her resurrect a medievil man as a sidekick who comes in complete costume, including a massive codpiece. This will appeal to the female and gay markets, and bring balance to the game.

Of course if Lara wants to keep her own balance, maybe she should grow a hump!

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